What/Who is your weight affecting other than the numbers on the scale??

So when being overweight and realizing you could "lose a few pounds" the first thing that probably comes to your mind is the actual number you weigh and what comes up on the scale. Whenever my weight was brought up I would automatically think "Man I am in the 300's already, wonder if it is 305 or 310 today, I HAVE to do something about that!". While the number on the scale is a HUGE issue and is not good if it is above what the charts tell you, it is really the smallest downside to being "obese" or "overweight" and honestly it is the simplest part to change while changing your life and getting healthy.

As I was watched Biggest Loser this week this topic really hit me in between the eyes and I felt it was a good thing, we can all relate to. This week on BL in case you didn't watch, Dr. H was back on there (the doctor that is on the show every year) and he presented each team with a sort of uncomfortable challenge, something that really put the weight issues in their face. They were all very neat, and eye opening but the one that really caught my attention was the purple team's moment, where they opened up their challenge envelope and saw that they would have to see what their family thinks about their weight, and how their weight does not just affect them, both others around them. They then had to watch a video of their, husband/dad and daughter/sister (this is a mother/daughter team by the way) talk about how worried they are for their family and how much these two women's weight is affecting them as well. They of course then brought up all the typical answers, like dying early and heart disease and just how it worries them day in and day out that this guys daughter could go before him, or this girl's mom could die soon, and it was very emotional.

For me until I lost about 50lbs or so I NEVER realized how many other things my weight affected in my life, other than the number on the scale. I think for me it was such a way of life for so long that I was so used to getting the short end of the stick, and doing without so many things because of my weight, that it almost didn't bother me. It was like the saying "You can't miss what you never had". At times I would think about these things when people would mention them, or I would see things my friends were doing or my family would say something, but it was like I would NOT let my mind go there, because food was more important to me and why think about those things when I am never going to have them.

Obviously one of the biggest ways my weight affected things around me was my family. I have mentioned before but I have 7 siblings underneath me, 2 sisters and 5 brothers, yes....that's a lot lol, but they are all fun and amazing in their own way lol. Anyways with being the oldest whether I like it or not I am the biggest influence on them and their biggest role model. Especially where my sisters are concerned, I hadn't realized how much they looked up to me but now I do. Even my little brother who is 6 who I thought didn't notice a ton, DEFF. notices everything and watches to see what I do. I can't imagine what kind of an example I was showing them before I changed my life. I was showing them  that it is ok to eat what you want when you want, and not be healthy at a young age, to sit around and do nothing and be unhappy but be ok with it because you love food too much. I was also helping bring bad options to them, when I would go through a drive through with them in my car, they would then get something, also since I help out with the grocery shopping a lot, I would buy crap for me, and some for them. My brother who is 17months younger than me is very close to me and we would hangout and do what together....EAT, we became each other's eating buddies and he started to have a weight problem as well. So while I was being so selfish to grant my own wants I had no clue what I was doing to my siblings along the way. Now days though they have totally seen a change in me and have picked up some great habits :). I cook a lot for them with loving to cook, and now they love salad and ask me every time to buy it at the store. They have loved some of the ways I have used lighter ingredients and even turkey in their meals. One time we went through a drive-thru to get a drink while we were on a road trip thing and my littlest brother said "You know I am glad we don't eat fast food as much, that fat in those meals are bad for your heart!" lol! And then that went into a conversation on them asking me what the healthiest things were to get at a restaurant and what not, it was SO neat to see at 9,7,6 yrs old, they were all concerned with what is healthy and what is not. They also now like to encourage me when I go to the gym and have actually gone with me a few times and played basketball while I worked out :o). My brother Kameron too has started watching what he eats, and now goes to spin with me which is awesome!

Not only was my family affected but almost everything in my life got better as I changed what I was doing. School obviously got way easier, as I wasn't carrying around an extra 168lbs with me. Sometimes I wonder how I even moved up the stairs last year and around with all that on my body, and it makes me SO grateful my heart was willing to push on through all I put it through. My grades even got better as I lost weight last year, and school seemed to click more, probably because my mind was not in that fat/carb overload feeling I used to be in. I deff. had more energy to focus on school and homework, and not think about my next meal as much as I used to lol. Along with school my social life also got a ton better. I am sure people would think, and it was hard for me not to think it was because I was getting "thinner" but honestly it had a lot to do with me as well. I think when we are overweight our confidence is obviously in the toilet and for me, I almost pushed people away. I know that a lot of people did probably judge me on my weight or chose not to be my friend on that reason, but a lot of times it was me who pushed people away. It all goes back to that saying that if you aren't happy with you, you can't be happy with anyone else. I was so miserable in my own life, and so into food I would push friends and opportunities away to either hide away and eat, or just stay to myself because I felt so uncomfortable, it was like I never even gave it all a chance.

When I started my weight loss, I was very quiet about it all. I knew that in times past when I went and told everyone what I was doing and how that it almost set me up for failure but this time I decided I would let my "actions" speak louder than my "words'! So with not saying much letting people just see that made a huge difference, people just didn't know what to say. It was also neat because I did in probably one of the most peer-pressure environments.....HIGHSCHOOL lol. I mean can you get anymore people watching you/judging you and wondering what is going on??? I am not saying there are not other hard places to be in the eye of others, but here it was tough, and considering for so long I was the quiet girl who didn't say much, people were in shock. I realized as I lost weight that all these people I thought "didn't like me" or were "against me" really just didn't know me and I never gave them the chance, because I was hiding behind my fat suit. So social my life deff. changed and I realize now all that my weight held me back from and that high school could have been so much more fun if I had not let the weight and pain hold me back. I missed out on my junior prom, countless dances, dating, sports, clubs, activities, and basically just being a teen and enjoying school. I say this though and I am ok with missing all of those things, because it made the person I am, and made me more mature and different and I am  thankful for that. And without those experiences and what not I would not have this journey or story to tell, and I feel that it is a special calling I was blessed with, so in the end it was all meant to be.

I am sorry this post is SO long lol, but I could go on for hours! I just had never realized just how much my weight affected EVERYTHING around me, not just the numbers but my whole entire life, and just how much better it got once I discovered the new me. The new and amazing opportunities I have now and things I missed out on that are now coming to life, are amazing. This is why losing weight is SO much more than the weight itself, it's the inside stuff and getting your life back once and for all! I hope for you that if you are at that point where I was where you feel like your in so deep it's not worth finding out what you are missing, and it's not worth looking into all the affects of your weight, that you too can make the change to looking at the deeper issues and realize that it is SO much more than the numbers! Realize that life and opportunities that you are missing and people you are affecting as SOO much more worth living for than food! It all goes back to my saying I still love and remember daily, "Nothing tastes as good as I feel" and it's so true when you make those changes and look back you will be amazed at all you were missing, but you will be SO grateful you changed your life when you did :o). So again I leave this post with, who and what is your weight affecting other than the numbers that pop up on a scale, and isn't it about time to make them more important and time to change your life?? I know I never thought I could, but you can and it's worth more than anything!

~Kassandra