"Tipful Tuesday" and some other things.....

SO the three-day weekend is over, and was it good or what lol?? I most deff. needed that extra day off, seeing as though BSU was out for MLK day, and it was lovely for sure lol. This week for  me was seriously like a whirlwind with starting school and new classes, and then also starting a new job at the preschool. Don't get me wrong it was a great week but went by SO fast I could barely keep up. I really do love all of my classes and my schedule as well, and my job is amazing, working with the 3 year old's is way too much fun lol! It was tough to stay with it all week, because I was exhausted just from getting back on a good sleeping schedule and still feeling a little cruddy from the low-potassium thing a week ago. It was nice this Friday night not to spend it in the ER lol, and to know I felt a LOT better.

For this Tuesday I decided my tip would be on working out and how even just a little bit can make such a difference. I get a lot of questions on what I do and how long I do it for, so I figured with the new followers from Kelly's Korner(which thank you ALL for your sweet comments to my last post!) I would talk about that. I wish I could say I started out running at 8.0 on the treadmill or that I took spin the whole 13 months lol....but....I deff. didn't. To be real honest the thought of the gym made my stomach physically sick and I REFUSED to go. There are only two gyms here where I live, not counting the one on campus for BSU, but it doesn't leave many options to where people go to work out. It's one or the other, so your bound and deter minded to see at like 2 or 3 people you know, some of which you would rather not see lol. Plus being a 309lb girl who hated to even jog in gym class, I deff. was not looking forward to pushing myself in a gym either. Every time I would start a diet someone would bring up the working out part, and I would think "eh, yeah that will come after about 50lbs and I can do the eating part and for now that is good enough!"....WRONG! I would always start and the eating part was sooo hard because it is hard to detox your body from crap in the beginning, so when I didn't have exercise to turn as motivation it was very easy to turn back to food and quick. I mean a few times I dieted I went to a track and walked, or would pretend to jog around the neighborhood haha, but nothing that really amounted to anything.

Well in the Summer of 2008 I decided enough was enough of these "gym/workout excuses". My faithful and kind neighbor had been bring up joining the YMCA with her for quite sometime, but I would usually just ignore her knowing I did not belong in a gym, nor wanted to be seen there. Well I finally gave in and in August 2008 I went for the first time to our local Y. She somehow talked me into taking a Saturday morning Strength Training class lol. I get in there feeling like a total doof lol, here being 309lbs and in big ugly sweats and already sweating before the class even started haha! All these women around me looked mico and I felt like a giant. I say it this way, not to slam the old me but be to be honest on how it really felt, because I know many others have felt this way too, it's very intimidating at first and just because I am now not that "old me" I don't ever want to forget that feeling and pain of when it all first happens. I did go through with the class and tried my hardest to keep up, I actually surprised myself and did pretty well, it was a lot of push ups, crunches, weights and such but I did ok. My neighbor was super encouraging and actually talked me into trying the elliptical for a while after the class, so we could get some cardio in as well. I at first was totally against it, but once I saw it I figured I would give it a shot. So I did....and some of you might have heard this before but guess what I could do in the beginning....not 2hrs, not 20mins but.....5mins. before I was DEAD tired and out of breath. I was very sad/embarrassed to say the least. I turned to my neighbor and told her I was done and I could do no more. It was hard to see that at 17 years old all I could was 5mins when people twice my age around me were doing 5 times that long. It was a real wake up call to say the least, but it was something that I had to face and see for myself, and realize that I had to be at the gym from now on and that had a LONG way to go!

After that day I decided the Y was going to be my friend, not somewhere I feared. Once I got in there and saw that all these "scary people" I thought I would see or that I thought would look down on me, really did not even care that I was there, I realized it was no big deal at all! The other people in the gym are just as concerned about getting their own workout in rather than looking at me and wondering what I was doing. I also use this saying to when I got nervous of thinking what people would think of me in the gym at my size "I would rather them seeing working out at a Y, than stuffing my face at restaurant.". When I think about that it was SO true, I never used to think twice about going into a Chili's or Applebee's or whatever and going and hogging out, but yet I was going to let that stop me from changing my body and health just because I was nervous of what they think??? I continued to go to the gym at least 3 times a week in the beginning, deff. taking the time though to let my body rest, seeing as though it didn't take much to wear me down. I then got a trainer at the very end of August who started working with me two days a week. I know trainers are not cheap, but they are very worth it if you can get one. Praise the Lord with my families big size we got a discount so it was still pricey but not as bad. We knew that it was my life at stake here so the price was well worth it. It was SO good to have Tricia because she was not only a friend but she pushed me as well and kept me accountable. So accountable that when I kept messing around in October and working out and not eating well that she told me until I got serious she was done working with me. Because as I have said on here my start date was Dec. 11, 2008, so even though I got the ball rolling in August I did not officially get it together until Dec. After she said that I decided to take some time out until I got serious, so that is what I did in December. Once I officially started and got serious I got back in the gym and pushed it like no other. I did things I never thought I could do, and pushed myself to my limits for sure! Tricia helped me weight wise with how to lift and sculpt and then I worked on the cardio thing, going from 5mins to 10mins on the elliptical and all the way until in March when I did an HOUR, which was amazing! I slowly started running but mainly just jogged until the summer of 2009. And then I continued to work with a new trainer in the summer,(I have another post on him somewhere that explains that better) and also learned to like running thanks to him. I then took spin class for the first time in July 2009 and LOVED it and have taken it ever since, again something that takes time to learn to like but it's SO worth it. If you would have asked me if that 309lbs girl last year who could do 5mins on a machine would be taking spin by July, I would have laughed in their face haha!

From telling all of this I hope it shows you, you are NEVER too big, NEVER too weak, and NEVER too inexperienced to get in the gym and get yourself moving. I know it's SO hard in the beginning especially if you have at least 100lbs to lose like I did, it's probably one of the most intimidating things you will do, but its SO worth it in the end. I believe working out was one of the missing links to why my journey to weight loss was never successful. I always tried but it never worked because I was always against working out, so just doing the food part was always  going to fail. When I actually had to move myself and see the weight in a different light and see just HOW much it was going to take to get thin, it made me view food a lot differently. It also gave me an outlet for my stress rather than turn to food. I hope that if you are thinking that you are "too big" or "too embarrassed" or "too out of shape" to start working out that you can see by my story it's never too early or too late to start and to work yourself up to a good point. If all you can do it 5mins, then do 5mins, it's 5mins. longer than you did the day before and 5mins. closer to a new healthy you :o). And trust me it get's better just give it some time, I NEVER would have thought I would even like the gym let alone now enjoy going almost everyday, but it happens and when it does it feels great :oD! And deff. don't expect too much out of yourself, just do what you can and you might just be surprised on how tough you really are lol!

Ok, so this is a long post haha, but I have two last things to post on that went on in my life. Last week I decided randomly to "rush" with a good friend of mine for a Sorority here at BSU. I had never thought I would be in one, and really didn't have a huge desire until this semester. I had always had a stereotype in my mind on what they were and what they did but was very surprised as two of my good friends from high school who were already in it, told me how they like it and how it was. I decided I would go for the nights of recruitment with my friend Ali and see what it was like. It ended up being super fun and the girls were great. It was so neat because the first night I got to share my weight loss story with them as my "interesting fact" lol, that got a few jaws to drop haha :o). I got to know the girls better and then by Friday they said they would call us with a "bid phone call". I was SUPER nervous because I knew there were quite a few girls, and that in the Spring time they don't pick near as many as the fall and it's tougher to get a spot. Well Friday came and I was SOO nervous and I waited and waited and finally......at 5:45pm I got my bid call asking if I would like accept a bid from Alpha Phi! I was SOO happy and excited and of course said yes! They came to my house (i live off campus by the way because we are so close to the university) and I got my bid from 4 of my now "new Alpha Phi sister's"! For me this was a HUGE deal, not only because I really wanted this and wanted a way to be more involved on campus but also because this one thing in my life I actually made! With being overweight all throughout high school I got turned down for so many things, teams, plays, speeches and other things, either because of my weight or because of my lack of self-confidence. I also did not go to many dances or put myself in those "out there situations" even thought I longed to because of my self confidence issues. This time thought it was SOO nice to be the real me and to be able to have to confidence to know I could do something if I wanted it and I could bring something to this group and make amazing friends and sisters along the way! I had a great time this weekend with them on Bid Day and just going out and getting to know each other better. It's deff. a huge opportunity to share who I am with these girls and learn neat things about all of them and I am thrilled to be blessed with this opportunity! Here are a few pics from the whole thing:

And.....one last thing! Yesterday/a little bit of this morning I wore a heart monitor that tracks everything I am doing and I push the button for pain, to help find out what is causing the dizziness and chest pains I have had since I went low-potassium. I am deff. hoping this brings some answers and helps us know what to do. It was very interesting take spin in it lol, I looked like a Bionic Women haha, with all these cords and such sticking off me, but they wanted me doing my normal activity so that I did lol! Well that's FINALLY it lol, I hope everyone had a great wkend and is having a good Tuesday!

~Kassandra